Is there any reason why I would need six phone books? I could see it if some of them were for exotic cities like Yachats, or Tokyo (English edition, please.), or Rio de Janeiro (Women's National Beach Volleyball Headquarters, please, please.). All I get, however, are Yellow Pages for Kansas City Metro. Do I need the other five books to confirm that the International School of Professional Bartending really IS at 2001 Baltimore? C'mon Directory 4, start some shit. Tell everybody that the ISoPB is actually at 8600 Ward Parkway, Suite 150. Then you'll pique my interest.
What we need is a government agency to stop the flow of illegal phone books coming across the threshold of my apartment building. We need a Yellow Pages czar. I have heard that rival cartels, in Belton, and in Grandview, are fighting for distribution rights, and are waging a brutal war for control of the best transportation routes into the city, Interstates 35 and 70. This war has already claimed 3s of lives, and may cost 4 or so more before it's done. These desperadoes aren't even citizens, of Overland Park, yet they are wreaking information redundancy on a huge scale in our formerly just adequately directoried and fair city. Our neighbor won't even come out of his apartment to clear away all the books deposited on his doorstep, for fear he will be spotted by a delivery driver, and be given two more books to dispose of. He is a frail old man. Taking all those tree-wasting tomes to the recycling bin will kill him. I want air strikes called in on Belton and Grandview to protect the most vulnerable among us. Has Glenn Beck been informed?
In local running news: I ran four miles before the sun came up. The weather was great: 45 degrees and a steady, warm southeast wind. No complaints from your humble narrator.
Thanks for humoring me.
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