I don't know how I did it, but I screwed up my shoulder pretty badly. I can't recall trying to lift a football stadium over my head, or sleeping in the hand-stand position. It's gotten so bad that I can't take my wallet out of my back pocket. (Maybe there's an upside to this.) I can't reach down to pick up the dog's poop. (Ditto.) Nor can I play the violin, which is OK, since I couldn't play it before, either.
Funny thing, though, it didn't bother me this morning when I ran. Didn't set me back a bit. When I came home, and started in on my list of household chores, I found, however, that my shoulder was sending shooting pain all the way down to my navel. I'm saying that even my belly button was aching. I had to put an ice cube in it to keep down the inflammation.
I was ruined for the day-totally inoperative. Dishes were left unwashed-even the roaches were disgusted. The floor went unvacuumed-and the tumbleweeds rolled on. I had only enough range of motion to be able to work the TV and stereo remotes. As long as I yelled at my wife in the kitchen for food and drink, rather than going in there myself, I could not reaggravate the injury.
I've heard that large doses of Lardamide, an enzyme found only in Lamar's Donuts, can help lubricate the shoulder joint, so that it can function more smoothly. The New England Journal of Medicine Recommends a dozen. I'm going to have to ask someone to pick them up for me. Someone else will have to shoulder the burden for me.
Thanks for humoring me.
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