Get Your Head on Straight February 10, 2010

I had a bumping headache when I woke up, and it lasted throughout my run. I say "bumping"because it was by no means a migraine, but it was definitely making life uncomfortable for the owner of the cabeza in question.

I still managed to get my six miles in, nonetheless. I don't think I've run with a headache since my college days, when I was often hungover, dehydrated, nauseated, a bit disoriented, and late for class. My running during that time was mostly drinking-related. I didn't have a car, so I would have to get a ride with my dormmates to whatever party was happening. Over the course of a few hours, we would get separated from each other, which was probably best, since such a high concentration of failure pheromones mixed with alcohol and pot could have caused massive structural failure in most houses, and I would invariably lose my ride home. Lacking money for cab fare, and not having secured a female chauffeur for the drive to someone's home, I would run. In whatever smoke-smelling jeans and flannel shirt I'd arrived in, and with my Chuck Taylor's soaked by Schell's beer I would hit the bricks.

And, man, would I run. Fast. All sense of distance and pace, any sense at all, was lost after five minutes in front of the bong. All the euphoria, or frustration, I'd built up at the party, poured out of me. I'd get back up to my dorm floor, go to the bathroom, throw up, weave down the hall to my room, pass out, having forgotten to set my alarm, maybe throw up again in the night, and oversleep at least my first class.

Then the running would begin again, head pounding, just so I could hear the all too sonorous voice of Professor Mrs. Dunham, explaining the foundations of the Whig Party in 18th Century American History. I hoped that the pounding in my head was an impending aneurysm, but it was only Knowledge knocking with futility on my gray matter.

But, hey, kids, don't do what I did. Don't drink and run. Even if it improves your cardiovascular fitness, it will turn your brain into a hard little pellet, into which no knowledge can seep. That is the Devil's Bargain. Better just to drink, and not run. Or run, and not drink. Except water, of course, because dehydration is a common cause of headaches.

Thanks for humoring me.