I am Mucus Man-Slimer of The Universe! I can cover evildoers in a thick coating of goo that will render them unable to wreak havoc on the innocent!
My sneezes are so powerful, they can send our enemies' nuclear missiles harmlessly into the outer reaches of the universe, where they might, or might not, make impact on another planet that might, or might not, have life forms similar to our own!
My dripping nose will provide enough moisture to end droughts in desert lands!
I will use up every Kleenex in the city, thereby revitalizing the moribund logging industry!
(There just has to be SOME upside to having a cold during allergy season.)
Thanks for reading.
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